Thanksgiving is a time to give thanks as you spend time with your loved ones. A time to be grateful, we celebrate around the Thanksgiving table where, in some families, anything goes. Since we can’t always pick our family or chosen family, it might mean some drama at dinner. But should certain individuals be invited to dinner, it might be a disaster.
There are a plethora of beloved television characters we would adore to have join us for turkey day, but there are definitely some characters who would be absolutely horrible to have at the table. From cannibalism to rude dads, these TV characters should not be on your Thanksgiving guest list. Host beware!
1
Joey Tribbiani (Matt LeBlanc)
‘Friends’ (1994–2004)
Joey Tribbiani (Matt LeBlanc) has a superpower. All he has to say is “How you doin?” and he mists you. While you fall under your gaze, he’ll likely destroy your table, leaving nothing for the rest of your guests. Joey loves food. So much so, if it’s out on the table, it’s not safe from his mouth. See food, eat food. Perhaps it is part of his Italian heritage, but Joey has a massive appetite. And he infamously known to not share food. We’ve seen him ruin many dinners during the annual Friends Thanksgiving specials. He’s literally scoffed down an entire turkey!
We love Joey. He’s a bit dim, but in an adorable puppy dog war. He’s one of the best parts of Friends! But like a puppy dog, his true kryptonite is food. He turns into a monster when food is in his vicinity. He’s a loyal friend, but his number one alliance is with a fork and a knife. If you do want to hear him yap on about women and his acting career at Thanksgiving, just prepare yourself. Keep the turkey under lock and key!
2
Marie Barone (Doris Roberts)
‘Everybody Loves Raymond’ (1996–2005)
Maybe we only witnessed the worst of Marie Barone (Doris Roberts) because she was just a hop, skip, and a jump away from her son, Ray (Ray Romano), but I can only imagine what would happen if she just showed up to Thanksgiving. While she’d most certainly not arrive empty-handed, whatever dish that accompanied her would likely come with a series of instructions that would lead to a wealth of criticism. Played by Doris Roberts, Marie was the heart, soul, and agony of Everybody Loves Raymond. She was filled with equal parts love and critique. With the special skill of serving a healthy plate of guilt with a side of expert manipulation, the nosy mother would make Thanksgiving unbearable.
Marie embodied every overbearing mother you’ve ever met. Even your own. She’s a proud housewife, but she believes she’s the ultimate housewife. Even if you think your Thanksgiving dinner, decor, and overall festiveness are exceptional, she’d call it subpar at best. Perhaps the only way we could prepare for Marie at dinner is through some coaching from her daughter-in-law, Debra (Patricia Heaton). Somehow, she managed to survive the family!
3
Beth Dutton (Kelly Reilly)
‘Yellowstone’ (2018–2024)
When it comes to saucy, assertive women, there are very few individuals quite like Beth Dutton (Kelly Reilly). The enchanting daughter from Yellowstone is cunning, abrasive, and often explosive. But what makes her a bad Thanksgiving guest? Well, she’s been fond of ruining social functions on occasions. Family dinners are very much included. There are very few people who can clear a table quite like Beth. She loves to throw a fit, which has become a major character trait over the course of the series’ five seasons. She has a knack for picking up on others’ facades, so forcing her to an elongated sit-down, Beth is at her worst, finding your worst.
Between Reilly’s wonderfully complex performance and the universe that Taylor Sheridan has created, Beth Dutton is a strikingly intriguing character. But in her authenticity comes her abysmal flaws. She is highly intellectual, making her an extraordinarily talented master manipulator. If she’s not having it, she’ll get under your skin and become ruthless and mean. With a volatile and selfish streak, Beth is a victim of her trauma, projecting it onto anyone in her vicinity. Perhaps without her family, Beth may be able to tone it down, but all signs point to no chance.
4
Peter Griffin (Seth MacFarlane)
‘Family Guy’ (1999–)
If there’s one thing that Peter Griffin (Seth MacFarlane) has going for him, it is that he would be wildly entertaining. And that’s where it ends. The Family Guy character is known for his outrageous humor, absurd anecdotes, slapstick antics, and over-the-top, goofy yet endearing personality. But that doesn’t guarantee a proper dinner guest. He’s got an occasional crude and mean-spirited aura to him that might turn some guests off.
With a lack of manners and an inability to pick up on social cues, Peter is known to cause chaos. Peter has had a history of poor performances at dinner throughout the 24-plus seasons of Family Guy. He’s even been called a “horrible dinner guest” while being rude to a Victorian girl ghost at a meal. With history not on his side, chances are very likely that Peter will be left off the guest list this holiday season.
5
Angela Martin (Angela Kinsey)
‘The Office’ (2005–2013)
There are some brilliant individuals from The Office you’d love to invite to Thanksgiving dinner. But there is one office lady who would be a guaranteed terror should she be sitting across the table from you: Angela Martin (Angela Kinsey). As we’ve witnessed on many occasions, the senior accountant, who is the head of the party planning committee, is the epitome of excessive criticism. The stern-faced Angela is the type of person who has no idea what a good time looks like. Plus, she’d likely request to bring her cats, and that’s a threat to the turkey.
Angela, to her credit, is one tough cookie. If we needed some assistance in the decorating department, she might be helpful. Just don’t expect it to be a tablescape that services everyone. And if you don’t care for her eye, she’ll let you have it. Angela’s sour demeanor will be on display if she doesn’t like your cooking. If you do invite the rest of the Dunder Mifflin Scranton branch and not include her, expect to feel the wrath.
6
Homelander (Antony Starr)
‘The Boys’ (2019–)
If there is one thing you don’t discuss at the holiday dinner table, it’s politics. It never ends well when it’s destined to divide the room and cause heated debate. If there’s one person who is the face of divisiveness, it’s Homelander (Antony Starr). The villain of The Boys, who thinks he’s God’s gift to humanity, Homelander, is the epitome of abuse and corruption. If Homelander were given a seat at the table, you’d have to walk on eggshells to ensure everything is to his liking; otherwise, he might kill you. Seriously, he’s flipped on people for even the most minute things!
As a character, Homelander is brilliant because he is a villain you love to hate because he’s so dastardly. He’s proven he’s virtually unstoppable, and even when you might think there will be an endearing moment of reflection that will cause him to change, it’s short-lived and only serves as a reflection on his supremacy. Homelander is evil to the core, and we anxiously await the day that our vigilantes will defeat him. At this point, our only hope might be Gen V‘s Marie Moreau (Jaz Sinclair). Though some of your family might see him as a right-wing celebrity with whom they align, Homelander would only be the source of trouble at Thanksgiving.
7
The Yellowjackets Soccer Team
‘Yellowjackets’ (2021–)
I get it. The Yellowjackets Soccer Team had a real rough go at things. Forced to survive in the wilderness after a tragic plane crash, the teenage survivors had to turn to the worst-case scenario: cannibalism. Though many of our core teammates made it out alive with emotional and mental scars, the team of teens would probably not be the best guests to celebrate Thanksgiving with. Though if we were inviting them to our table, they’d very much be thankful to be there because they would have been rescued. And not have to turn on one another for nourishment.
Yellowjackets is a fascinating tale of trials and tribulations that push individuals to their breaking point. Human will and morality are at the center of the flashback timeline as we witness the younger versions attempt to survive the horrendous conditions. Prior to trauma, surely the girls would have been a delight at the table, but how could we blame them for perhaps lacking table manners and having a desire for flesh not from a turkey?
8
Homer Simpson (Dan Castellaneta)
‘The Simpsons’ (1989–)
Once upon a time, Homer Simpson (Dan Castellaneta) had a very brief stint as a food critic for the Springfield newspaper. A shocker to no one, Homer became a nuisance to the restaurant owners, making negative comments just for spite. In the Season 11 episode, in hopes of eliminating their newfound enemy, the owners form a coalition to try to kill him with a poisoned éclair. If this is any indication of how he’d criticize our feast, count him out! But the reality is, this is only just a blip on the Homer list of cons.
Though Homer has become a beloved character over time, The Simpsons patriarch would be awful at the Thanksgiving table. The beer-and-donut lover would likely complain about everything and make everyone feel uncomfortable. For the rest of the clan, they might be overjoyed to have a Homer-free Thanksgiving so they could enjoy it in peace! Plus, a good dinner guest would offer to help at some point in the evening. Chances are, the lazy Homer would simply sit back with his feet up, expecting us to wait on him hand and foot. D’oh!
9
The Roys
‘Succession’ (2018–2023)
Families fight during Thanksgiving. It’s common. In fact, if you survive a dinner without a fight, you deserve a massive prize, plaque, award, or all of the above. If there is one television family that most certainly would fail at keeping holiday peace, it is the Roy family. As the central family of HBO’s mammoth hit Succession, never have we seen a set of siblings and a patriarch loathe one another with such vigor. Even the extended family found themselves involved in the constant feuding. For a group of individuals who thrive on insults, betrayal, and backstabbing, the Roys most certainly would bring the vibe to rock bottom. That is, if the meal even gets served.
As seen in Succession, the series follows the Shakespearean battle between siblings Kendall (Jeremy Strong), Shiv (Sarah Snook), Roman (Kieran Culkin), and even Connor (Alan Ruck) for control of the media empire from their father, Roy (Brian Cox). Unfortunately, Daddy Not-So-Dearest has an utter fascination with pitting his kids against one another. We can only imagine that if everyone joined us at the table, we’d witness a Succession-like feud in which a battle for which Roy would earn the honor of carving the turkey would commence. Expect a vote that forces everyone at the table to show their loyalty. I suppose if we had to invite any extended family member, Cousin Greg (Nicholas Braun), who lacks the Roy surname, might be a fun guest to invite, as he’s the least dramatic and might be grateful to be the only one included.
10
Dr. Hannibal Lecter (Mads Mikkelsen)
‘Hannibal’ (2013–2015)
Now, listen…one of the most terrifying movie villains of all time is Hannibal Lecter. As originally played by Anthony Hopkins, the character was the source of nightmares for many. Well, at least for me. Nevertheless, when the character was adapted for true vision, the new Hannibal, played by Mads Mikkelsen, took the Thomas Harris creation and made him a brilliant forensic psychiatrist and gourmand. With a penance for meat, Dr. Lecter also just so happens to be a secret serial killer and a cannibal, known as the Chesapeake Ripper. One might think as a lover of food, he’d be a delightful Thanksgiving guest, but with sharp cutlery around, the other guests might end up being carved up like a turkey rather than the meal’s centerpiece.
In the 2010s thriller Hannibal, the series depicts the intricate relationship between FBI agent Will Graham (Hugh Dancy) and the titular character. Destined to become Graham’s most cunning enemy, Graham puts himself in the mind of the killer, visualizing the murders, hoping to understand the psyche of his prey. Unfortunately, it causes him a mental breakdown due to his rival’s dangerously intricate schemes. Mikkelsen’s haunting performance provides all the reasons why his presence at the dinner table would turn out to be horrible for everyone but him.
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